The Grapple: An Insidious plot to take advantage of the pro-mutant sentiment generated by the X-men series of films

A grapple. Pronounced "Grape L".

I was in my local grocery store, The Krogers in Carrollton on Frankford, when I saw a plastic molded case holding 4 apples. The case proudly pronounced "Grapple, Looks like an apple. Tastes like a grape!"

"Wow!" I thought. "This must be some kind of mutant child of an apple and a grape---some fantastically yummy crossbreed that demanded to be sold!"

"I must have it."

"How could someone cross an apple and a grape?" I had to know! My lust for genetically engineered mutant fruit overcame me and I pricked up the box. Through the bottom I read the back of the label.

"What is a Grapple?" The box asked. "Imagine the sweet distinctive flavor of a concorde grape combined with the crispiness of a juicy Washington Extra Fancy apple, and you get the idea."

"Beyond that, the wonderful flavor of a Grapple is hard to describe. To fully preciate (some of the label was missing letters, i'll do my best to fill them in ---'ap'preciate) its total uniqueness you really have to taste one."

" 'Bec'ause of their desert quality and flavor, grapples are extremely versatile. 'The'y're great eaten out of hand, sliced up in salads, served as before dinner 'app'etizers or after dinner snacks."

"'Jus't for fun, try slicing up a grapple and serving it to your friends, along with a '???'nk (would they use "chunk" in this context?) of sharp cheese. Then watch the "wow" expressions of a "first Grapple 'exp'erience!"

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With a lead in like that, I was helpless. I bought them and scarfed one down almost as soon as I walked in my door. Hmmm. It was an apple, but it tasted kind of like a grape...Genius!!!

Actually, as I ate the apple my critcal side emerged. It was a little slushy. I don't like slushy apples.

I decided I was not in love with Grapples. I took the 3 remaining Grapples up to work for my co-worker, Gary.

Gary WAS greatly impressed with the Grapple. He looked it up on line and found some startling information.

GetFitFoods.com reveals the secret origin of the Grapple---and it is not what you think.

"The Grapple is a Washington State Extra Fancy Fuji apple. This is the only apple that currently meets the strict Grapple standards. The Fuji is bathed through a patented process and in a few days the entire apple takes on the essence and mouth-watering taste of Concord grapes..."

!!!!

This was no case of careful cross pollenation or genetic engineering, this was base ALCHEMY!!!! Evil in it's purest form disguised as simple, honest, safe genetic engineering!

With shocking new information I can only advise you to beware the Grapple.