Happy Birthday, Tiffany Tyler
Sunday is my friend Ms. C's birthday. Her birthday (the 27th) is 2 days after Tiff's (the 25th).
My gosh this really is in my head since it occurred to me. It has been a year since Tiffany broke up with me.
It's weird. I really want to drop her a note or something and wish her a happy birthday, but on the other hand, that isn't done. When a woman drops you like a worthless piece of shit, society expects you to just smile and walk away. Anything else and you go from failed lover to stalker. Just accept that the person you love thinks you are a failure who will never amount to anything. No amount of talk will change that decision once it is made. It is irrevocable. Just. Go. Away.
Well. I have. I have my smile on hand. And I am still walking away (getting further every day).
I haven't called her. I haven't stopped by her apartment. I sent the last of her stuff with my sister to leave for her at her workplace. I have not set in the store she works in since she wrote me off. I haven't made any efforts to get in touch with her at all.
Accepting that she feels that way has made it tolerable. In instances where you know that is the nut of it, you'd be surprised how much clout your mind will have over your heart. Especially if you have an ego like mine.
But I do miss her. Sometimes a lot. We weren't a very good couple in a lot of ways, but I miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss her perspective. I miss her insights. I miss her quirks and her gestures. I miss her smile. I miss her sweetness.
I also miss the honest devotion we had for each other at one point. I will never be convinced that is wasn't rare, mutual, and heartfelt. (Well, unless Tiff tells me otherwise one day, LOL!) I was moved by it, was grateful for it, and am grateful for the memory of it.
Wherever she is, I hope she had a very nice birthday.
(OK...Going back and re-reading that, I am a drama queen. Whatchagonnado?)
My gosh this really is in my head since it occurred to me. It has been a year since Tiffany broke up with me.
It's weird. I really want to drop her a note or something and wish her a happy birthday, but on the other hand, that isn't done. When a woman drops you like a worthless piece of shit, society expects you to just smile and walk away. Anything else and you go from failed lover to stalker. Just accept that the person you love thinks you are a failure who will never amount to anything. No amount of talk will change that decision once it is made. It is irrevocable. Just. Go. Away.
Well. I have. I have my smile on hand. And I am still walking away (getting further every day).
I haven't called her. I haven't stopped by her apartment. I sent the last of her stuff with my sister to leave for her at her workplace. I have not set in the store she works in since she wrote me off. I haven't made any efforts to get in touch with her at all.
Accepting that she feels that way has made it tolerable. In instances where you know that is the nut of it, you'd be surprised how much clout your mind will have over your heart. Especially if you have an ego like mine.
But I do miss her. Sometimes a lot. We weren't a very good couple in a lot of ways, but I miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss her perspective. I miss her insights. I miss her quirks and her gestures. I miss her smile. I miss her sweetness.
I also miss the honest devotion we had for each other at one point. I will never be convinced that is wasn't rare, mutual, and heartfelt. (Well, unless Tiff tells me otherwise one day, LOL!) I was moved by it, was grateful for it, and am grateful for the memory of it.
Wherever she is, I hope she had a very nice birthday.
(OK...Going back and re-reading that, I am a drama queen. Whatchagonnado?)
posted by The Tobidian at 12:36 PM
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