Damn it
I awoke at 4:30 AM to hear my door opening. I didn't open my eyes. The only person who had a key and would just open the door and walk in was Tiff.
She fumbled around in the living room---taking her shoes off I guess---then walked into my room and got into my bed. She smelled slightly of smoke from the club she had been at as well as the cigarette she still smoked. I was vaguely conscious of thinking she looked thin.
She was haltingly beautiful. As always. Today she was even hotter than normal. She was dressed as the punk she was when I met her---wearing her contacts and her black eye makeup. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of her toes clad in fishnets peaking out of leather pants. She was so hot.
My heart leapt that she had come back to me.
Then she spoke.
"I'll probably never wear these clothes again," She said as her head took a beeline to my dick.
.....
"What the fuck!?!" I thought.
Then I realized, This wasn't her coming back to me. This was her way of saying goodbye.
The last time I had spoken to her, I asked her, "Am I a potential husband or an ex-boyfriend?" She had responed in an ice cold voice, "I don't see a future with you."
Neither one of us knew what to say after that. 20 seconds later I got off the line. After 6 years, my time with Tiff had finally run out.
I hadn't heard from her at all in the last 3 weeks. And now, here she was about to go down on me.
My heart pounded in my chest like it was trying to get out. What did it mean?
Then it occurred to me. Tiff doesn't do blowjobs.
As simple as that, the spell was broken. Tiff, my beautiful bug, vanished into the ether.
I opened my eyes in the dark of my apartment. Alone.
My stomach tied itself into knots. What did it mean? I felt sick. Like I had sullied her memories. Why did I dream that? Is that what I felt---that I wanted her for sex only? I took some comfort in the fact that I wouldn't feel this bad if that was it.
I wanted despirately to call her cell phone, if only to hear her recorded message. No. I don't want to be that guy. Not to Tiff. Not ever.
I sat alone in the darkness, devoid of Tiff and consumed by nothing. Clutching the empty air. Trying to hold it close to me.
She fumbled around in the living room---taking her shoes off I guess---then walked into my room and got into my bed. She smelled slightly of smoke from the club she had been at as well as the cigarette she still smoked. I was vaguely conscious of thinking she looked thin.
She was haltingly beautiful. As always. Today she was even hotter than normal. She was dressed as the punk she was when I met her---wearing her contacts and her black eye makeup. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of her toes clad in fishnets peaking out of leather pants. She was so hot.
My heart leapt that she had come back to me.
Then she spoke.
"I'll probably never wear these clothes again," She said as her head took a beeline to my dick.
.....
"What the fuck!?!" I thought.
Then I realized, This wasn't her coming back to me. This was her way of saying goodbye.
The last time I had spoken to her, I asked her, "Am I a potential husband or an ex-boyfriend?" She had responed in an ice cold voice, "I don't see a future with you."
Neither one of us knew what to say after that. 20 seconds later I got off the line. After 6 years, my time with Tiff had finally run out.
I hadn't heard from her at all in the last 3 weeks. And now, here she was about to go down on me.
My heart pounded in my chest like it was trying to get out. What did it mean?
Then it occurred to me. Tiff doesn't do blowjobs.
As simple as that, the spell was broken. Tiff, my beautiful bug, vanished into the ether.
I opened my eyes in the dark of my apartment. Alone.
My stomach tied itself into knots. What did it mean? I felt sick. Like I had sullied her memories. Why did I dream that? Is that what I felt---that I wanted her for sex only? I took some comfort in the fact that I wouldn't feel this bad if that was it.
I wanted despirately to call her cell phone, if only to hear her recorded message. No. I don't want to be that guy. Not to Tiff. Not ever.
I sat alone in the darkness, devoid of Tiff and consumed by nothing. Clutching the empty air. Trying to hold it close to me.
posted by The Tobidian at 4:48 AM
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